Log in

No account? Create an account


GLAY cheered me up

Sep. 8th, 2004 | 09:48 pm on Wednesday
mood: better?
music: canaria --> GLAY

Leave a comment with your name if you want to know what I really think of you, and I’ll reply and tell you. No lies, all honesty.

Post it in your journal after I do yours so I can see the reverse.

All right then...just put your name and that's all. If you're curious or whatever.

Link | let them eat cake { 19 } |


been so long I've been hopelessly confused

Sep. 8th, 2004 | 07:48 pm on Wednesday
mood: will I ever dare?
music: In My Life --> The Beatles

This will make no sense to anyone. Don't read it, it's just me complaining and making no sense 'cause I don't feel like explaining it.

Man, I'm so miserable. I don't know why I try to pretend there's nothing wrong, that everything is just dandy. I'm so horribly unhappy. I try really hard...every single day to keep a smile on my face, I try very hard to not let things drag me down, but I can't fight everything. Nobody even listens. But why should they? I never help anyone else, so I guess this is just punishment for my mistakes. I've made so many, I'll be miserable the rest of my life. Besides, even if I told people, I can't expect them to solve my problems for me. I tell my parents that I'm unhappy, but they don't say anything. They don't give me one piece of advice. All my father says is, "What about graduating early?" or "Talk to your councelor to see if you can graduate early." My all time favorite is, "It's almost over." Wtf, that doesn't make me feel better at all. I can't be mad at him though, it's not easy to make people feel better. Maybe it's because I feel so alienated. My friends are so different, they don't even realize it. They don't even realize how hard it is for me to be around them, how hard it is for me to hold my opinions about their stupid decisions. What does it matter anyway? What happened, happened... I can't do anything about it now, I only wish I had been around before they made those decisions. I would have tried so hard to talk them out of it... I never thought they'd do any of the things they're doing now. Apparently I don't know my friends at all anymore, maybe I never did. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I don't even know what I'm so angry about, their stupid decisions or their great changes. Maybe I'm not even angry at all, I'm just... find it less appealing to talk to both of them. I want to crawl into a hole... I can't even talk to them, I just have to pretend nothing is bothering me. I tried bringing it up, but it doesn't phase them at all. When I talked to them about how I found out something that I thought they'd tell me about FROM SOMEONE ELSE, they just laughed and joked like it was no big deal. Like it didn't hurt my feelings at all that I found out from someone else. This was so long ago... but it just won't go away! I thought if I ignored it and kept pretending I was okay, this problem would dissapear. But I can't even fool myself into thinking I'm fine... "The longer that I wait, the more selfish I get." I'm trying so hard to like them again, to salvage the normal mood we had before they changed. I'm doing a fine job so far, they have no idea something's wrong with me. So... I guess I'll let this bug drive me mad until I figure out what to do. Writing about this helps me so much... though it makes me sad at the same time. It's not the sex, it's the changes. They're different people now, weather they see it or not. I don't even know HALF of what's going on with them anymore... if I did, I'd go mad. I'm already insane enough... I need to find my stillness in time...

"This could never really end,
It's infineatly sad.
Could someone tell me when,
something good became so bad?
If you have a cure,
to me would you please send
a picture of my life
with a letter telling how
it should really be instead."

-Jamiroquai (Picture Of My Life)

Link | let them eat cake { 2 } |


boom boom

Sep. 7th, 2004 | 06:55 am on Tuesday
mood: blah, school
music: Mission Accomplished --> Gundam Wing

Hey wifey, dig my new icon X3 I couldn't help myself <3

Too early to post anything else...*shrugs* Off to school, kiddies.

//EDIT// All right then, I'm here at school...woot. Doing nothing during my open hour. I kind of want to go to the cafeteria to eat my lunch, but it's too early. Besides, it's warm here (surprisingly enough, today is a little chilly). For the first time this year, I have a little home-packed lunch to eat here in school ^_^ Doesn't that just warm the heart? It's a croissant my dad made, I just put it in a little bag and brough it to school. Can't wait to eat it.

Oh wifey, you'll appreciate this, that Korean kid I'm getting to know is talking to me more on his own. I thought I annoyed him at first, but he doesn't seem to mind me anymore seeing as how he came over here and all. He scrolled through my journal too n_n; He liked the Yuna icons. Uh, what else?... There is a scary big tall guy looking around the lab for a computer, he scares me, so I'm gonna go so he can use this computer. See ya around kids <3

Link | let them eat cake { 5 } |


Labor Day Mecha Anime Marathon!

Sep. 6th, 2004 | 12:07 pm on Monday
mood: mechaaaa! robots! @_@
music: Gundam Wing Episode 5 - Party Night

I'm having a Labor Day Mecha Anime Marathon! Which consists of...Gundam Wing. Just Gundam Wing, I'm not going to bother with Neon Genesis Evangelion or anything, I'd need more than a day for that. So yay, the tradition lives on! I always watch all the episodes of Gundam Wing on Labor Day (or Memorial Day, one of the two) each year, so I don't go a whole year without my dose of Gundam-ness. So, just come over and watch all the episodes of Gundam Wing at my house, commercial free! (They're only commercial free because I have a fast forward button on my VCR remote, haha.) Actually, don't come because I'll probably be in my pajamas all day XD Jk jk. It's kind of sad though, one of my favorite anime series and I only have it taped off Cartoon Network, IN ENGLISH no less! Dubbed *sobs.* However! Gundam Wing was a very nice dub, so I don't have a huge problem watching the dub (not like I have a choice 'cause I've never bought the DVDs). I want some GW dvds now...T_T; Boo hoo.

I have so much homework to doooo x_X *dies in a pile of Gundam-Wing obsessed goodness*

Suddenly I wish for simpler times. I wonder how long I'll be able to see the moon like thisCollapse )

Link | let them eat cake { 7 } |


it's too late to say you're sorry

Sep. 5th, 2004 | 12:27 pm on Sunday
mood: relaxed
music: One Winged Angel --> Nobuo Uematsu

Woot, wasting time making graphics! :D Dig my new Yuna layout. I'm a little Yuna-crazed right now (for some reason), so I made a few icons I thought I'd share. It's been a while since I've posted icons, so yeah...here goes!

(6 Yuna, 1 Ren/Lenne, and 1 random lost Teru icon)

The rest are prettier, I promiseCollapse )

Hm.... I want to make more icons... But I don't know what to make icons of anymore. I swear I've made icons of every single picture on my comp...except for the crappy ones. I think I'll make some Kill Bill icons, but I've already made a bunch of Gogo and I don't really have pictures of The Bride or Budd or anyone, so that may take some time for me to find images I like and all. I went to Best Buy and bought Kill Bill Volume 2 yesterday, which was cool. I may have said this already, but I like Kill Bill vol. 1 better than vol. 2. I just thought I'd get the second to complete the Kill BIll stuff. I really like Budd, he is really awesome. Elle Driver is neat too, pretty evil... I think those two are what I like best about Vol. 2. Well, I think I'll get going again. Gotta do something, maybe I'll do homework (maybe not). Ciao dodalu.

Link | let them eat cake { 7 } |



Sep. 4th, 2004 | 10:30 am on Saturday
mood: musical
music: Over Drive PV --> JUDY AND MARY

Sorry everyone who was talking to me on aim yesterday (half of my freaking friends list XD) but I too excited to stay seated and my brother and Crystal kept on giving me cake. (They're choosing a wedding cake, so I had to try like 50 different types of cake, from 5 different kinds of chocolate cake to turtle (?) cake and vanilla with creepy frosting roses.) Not to mention I kept on forgetting I was signed on X3

ANYWAY. I get to go to the Franz Ferdinand concert in Chicago! :D I'm so excited! It's September 30th, the day before my birthday! I'm not sure if we're leaving Wednesday and coming back Thursday night or...what. But the tickets are bought and I'm going! I wish I could miss school Thrusday AND Friday (my birthday), come back Saturday...or even, come back SUNDAY ;D But I'm not sure how that'll work.

Uh, that's all for now. DODALU.

//EDIT// I really want to buy Kare Kano (his and her circumstances) dvd. Have I mentioned I'm into this whole weird...liking of shoujo anime phase? I really like Fruist Basket and now I want to get into Kare Kano. It's my uncle's fault! He buys anime soundtracks whenever he can, and he bought the Kare Kano OST and... I love it x_x; The opening and ending songs are so cute, damn. I miss my Kare Kano icon...>_> But erm, yeah, if I find the first dvd at Best Buy, I will buy it :D Because I'm going to buy Kill Bill volume 2 (finally), but if I see Kare Kano 01, I'll have to get it. Eh, okay, I think I'm done this time. *Nod nod*

Link | let them eat cake { 4 } |